Current mood:

source: gabbybernstein.com/superattractordeck

WTF? After six weeks of constant writing rejections it turns out I’ve come second place in a poetry competition again! Every time I feel like giving up on writing I get published or win some money (or, in this case, book tokens). My last rejection was from one of my top ten favourite publishing companies, and I wrote about an experience I felt so passionately about. I thought, foolishly, that I’d have to get longlisted because I bared my soul. It’s not the prize, or the prestige, that motivated me. I wanted to feel seen. I wanted acknowledgement because I wrote about something that made me feel invisible for decades.

That’s one of the things I’ve learnt about selling writing over the past couple of years. Your favourite pieces can get rejected, and some pieces you whip up in ten minutes end up getting published. Then you live with the uneasiness of seeing your name attached to something you know you rang in.

But it’s still exciting though. I’ve been told my poem will be on posters displayed in the university bookshop. Happy Valentine’s Day!

It’s rare that I stop and blog during my lunchtime, but I’m waiting for a rejection email. I don’t know why I am waiting for it. But I know it’s coming. I had a job interview this morning and walked into a room where one of the interviewers was making no effort to hide the feedback/rating form of the previous interviewee, and I saw I had no chance so I spent the interview just chatting. Yeah, I know, it probably was unprofessional but it was at that time I realised I wasn’t going to get all worked up over something that isn’t going to happen.

It could have been upsetting but on my way back to my office I received an email about a great creative project opportunity and it looks like I’ve had some interest in one of my pitches. Also, I bumped into an ex-colleague who gave me a flyer about a poetry competition, and the theme is something I’d be writing about this weekend.

It’s weird. Whenever I go back to my old workplace good things happen; but I never got a job offer there. I’m wondering if it’s just some cosmic way of telling me move on! 

I’m happy about this.

Get More Gabby April Podcast by Gabby Bernstein (found via gabbybernstein.com/thanks-for-signing-up-how-to-choose-happiness/)

Earlier this month I mentioned Gabby Bernstein‘s minicourse. The third part was a cord cutting meditation and it has been so helpful. I had heard of cord cutting a couple of years ago, and thought it was a useful tool. But I hadn’t realised that, as part of my writing, I had been holding on to memories of people.

This week is a bit of a big deal for me. So I’m starting everyday with a guided meditation. Visualisation for the future!