Is it weird I’m going to miss my desk?

I sat eating lunch today (yes! I took a break) and it suddenly dawned on me that I am going to miss my desk. I have my own office that I share with a colleague. My colleague does a lot of remote working so I am pretty much alone two days a week. I have my own space and a pretty swish desk.

My desk at Canterbury Christ Church University

My desk at Canterbury Christ Church University

I mean, look at it! I am so proud of it that I put some hooks up on the legs so my charging cable and headphones don’t make as much mess.

This is the type of desk I imagined sitting at in my forties, wearing a knitted tank top and gazing out the window. I’ll miss you desk. You are beautiful.


Spring is truly in the air. I start a new job next month and I’m excited for the change. This week I also begin studying Level 3 Counselling. I am extremely looking forward towards having more free time – because I’ve fallen behind on my writing. After I got published earlier in the year, I lost my drive. I stopped submitting to journals. I stopped replying to emails. But, as I started writing my handover guidance in my current role – I realised how ready I feel to progress.

I woke up this morning to find my bottle of deodorant was empty. It had been running out for a while but I kept forgetting to put it on my shopping list. I had been thinking about going into work today because I really want to leave the data in a place I am happy with. I managed six hours of data entry yesterday, and I think I’ll be done in another eight hours. But, as I stood in my bathroom looking at the empty bottle I thought No. Go to town instead. And that’s what I did.

I went to the local discount store and bought myself two! Tisserand deodorants. I had been considering buying them for a while because I love Tisserand essential oils. I put a few drops of Mixed Spice on a hankerchief and put it by my pillow at night as I watch an itsblitzzz video. I also have some diffuser oils; my favourite is one called Frosted Mistletoe which doesn’t appear to be still available. Though, you can get Winter Pine in TK Maxx (which has the same scent).

Anyway, I am in scent heaven right now.

Tisserand deodorant

Tisserand deodorant

I looked on the shelf in the store, and knew instantly that I wanted to try tea tree and rosemary. As I picked up the deodorant I saw rose and iris standing behind it. I had a quick sniff and I though well, why not? So now I have one floral-scented armpit and one fresh and herby-scented armpit. I feel like a two course meal.


My penultimate month
In university
And I’ve finally found the courage to face you

We met last year
I had been avoiding you for some time

Refusing to work with you
Asking colleagues to deal with you

Over time we were introduced
I was in awe of your capacity
But always at fault

Months later people were asking me about you
Making requests I did not want to complete
I didn’t know how to begin

The stress pulsed at my temples
I resented you

But I knew that it was not me that broke you
It was the person before me
And the person before them
Who brought you in with no knowledge
Of how you work

I had to sit down and tear you apart
I saw how you were put together
But more than that
I saw the gaps in you that nobody noticed

And felt anger that you were corrupted

Deep down, there was no order or reason
To how they treated you
I hope I can fix you before I leave