A few people I know in the care leaver community have started a project called Care in the time of COVID. It’s a diary project, and one of the prompts is to write about your Saturday. I started writing, and then I deleted my entries because I felt like it was boring/sad. But then I decided to restore the entries because they are a reflection of the time (though they are very dry reading).

I have to declare that these entries are not part of the project, but they have been inspired by the project.

This is a follow up to COVID diary 1.

Saturday 9 May

I woke up early today. I was very anxious and couldn’t stop pacing. I ended up rereading No Big Deal. I don’t know why I ordered it; it’s a young adult novel (the genre makes me cringe a little bit, but I think that’s because I felt too mature for these books as a teenager) but I am glad I did. I read the book yesterday, but I wanted to go back and revisit sections today. I remember being inspired to read the book because I saw a thread in an internet forum where members were asked which celebrity they are most like, and Bethany Rutter was the first person who came into my mind. I don’t think I look like her, but I like to think I have her colourful vibe and I’d love a smidgen of her writing ability. I was going to write about Bethany Rutter for the Jane Austen Literacy Foundation writing competition, but I couldn’t concentrate.

I ended up writing a lingerie review. I sometimes do fit modelling for a company that occasionally throws freelance writing my way. I reviewed some high-waisted knickers, which I happened to like. I find this element of my writing difficult to talk about because, I guess, people feel awkward thinking about lingerie – and it’s something that stopped me appearing on the front page of this site! But the process of being a fit model is fun; I’ve always been interested in fashion design so I like seeing the products. I get to try on clothes I wouldn’t necessarily buy myself, and by reviewing the feel/build/texture of clothing you start to see clothes in a different way (not just style, but the sensation of clothing too). Fit modelling is one of my favourite side hustles, and it keeps me writing which I am thankful for.

Another thing about fit modelling is that my feedback influences future design. A couple of years ago I reviewed a range of clothing that was only produced in dark colours. Over the following year, one of my most common pieces of feedback was I’d like to see more ranges in lighter/brighter colours. Obviously, dark colours are favoured by lots of people because they find them more flattering but I was excited to find out that this range I really liked two years ago is coming back in pastel colours.

I redesigned my college SharePoint blog (it’s a private blog which I won’t share here) and gave it a cute background. I forgot how much I used to like faffing around with blog design/layout. I know I have mentioned this previously, but I take part in daily wellbeing chats with Efe – this week I found them extremely helpful. As it’s a bank holiday weekend Efe asked us to think about what we have learnt over the past couple of months. I decided to free write an answer, and I wrote solidly for ten minutes without hesitation! What a result. I can’t remember the last time I was able to free write without self-censorship.

For lunch I had a veggie sausage muffin. My local convenience store does Richmond meat-free sausages. I was a bit suspicious of them at first because there are very few veggie sausages I like. I find most veggie sausages are too dry, or bland, or have a boring texture. These Richmond meat-free sausages were lovely. In fact, they may be my favourite veggie sausages right now (just because they have a more traditional sausage taste which makes them perfect for bangers and mash, toad in the hole, and sausage sandwiches!).

I played Minecraft most of the afternoon. I was trying to tire myself out, but a bat flew into me as I was in a cave and it made me jump. So I quit and watched some TV with my partner. We watched some renovation programmes, then I looked online for flats to buy (I like this one in Sandgate). I flicked through the Postgraduate Research Handbook and listened to some Early Eyes. I trimmed my fringe and then decided to trim it some more. It looks ridiculous now. I skipped dinner and went to bed very early listening to Downriver. I got up a few hours later and played Minecraft into the early hours.

Most of you know I am a big fan of Mslexia. I was published in their issue last Christmas, and also was mentioned in their previous issue (thanks Melissa). I think my favourite thing was they were the first creative writing magazine I discovered that was also available in my university library. I wanted to submit to journals in the past, but I just didn’t feel confident. I loved reflective and expressive writing, but I didn’t know before then that personal writing could be respected in an academic institution. Particularly, my writing.

Mslexia has a regular competition where you can win books. I normally glance at the titles, but I hadn’t seen any that piqued my interest until I saw Burn It Down! Feminist Manifestos for the Revolution. I filled in my details and didn’t think any more of it.

I only won a copy today! Woo. Thanks Mslexia and Verso.

Here’s hoping the rest of the month is this good!

A few people I know in the care leaver community have started a project called Care in the time of COVID. It’s a diary project, and one of the prompts is to write about your Saturday. I started writing, and then I deleted my entries because I felt like it was boring/sad. But then I decided to restore the entries because they are a reflection of the time (though they are very dry reading).

I have to declare that these entries are not part of the project, but they have been inspired by the project.

Saturday 2 May

My days have been unstructured since the start of social distancing. I may have awoken in the early hours, but I went back to sleep. My partner tends to bring me a tea, smoothie and a facon bap around eight o’clock. Sometimes it’s hard to eat because my medication from the previous night has made my throat uncomfortable. Even though it’s the weekend, I will probably look at my work for a few hours today; I work part-time but I’ve found it easier to work a little bit every day rather than have assigned work days – this is just because my computer is old and tired, and my partner is in video conferencing calls throughout the week so the only place his voice doesn’t reach is the bedroom. I don’t like working in the bedroom as it’s my safe space (panic attack den).

After I wake up I tend to spend a few hours watching Youtube videos. My latest favourites are Ozzy Man Reviews (he’s very sweary) because his responses seem very stream-of-conscious. They make me laugh, though some of the videos make me wince. In one video he reviews the Coopers Hill cheese rolling, and it looked really painful. But the commentary felt spot on! I think it’s important to watch videos that make me laugh because I’ve found it really difficult to get out of my low mood lately.

Later in morning I check my emails to see if any of my writing pitches have been picked up – it’s normally a no! But I also use this time to seek out publications that are looking for contributions and enter some writing competitions. I don’t know why I check daily but I get such a buzz when I’ve got some feedback.

I’m looking forwarding to video calling my sister and her family tomorrow. I watch my niece and nephew play for half an hour, and then catch up with my sister and brother-in-law. I don’t very often have much to say but I think they like to check I’m doing alright and we chat about our jobs a bit. My sister and brother-in-law know I am looking for a second job to help with my money situation so I’ll tell them about roles I’ve applied for. My brother-in-law is an architect so I like hearing about his work; it’s very interesting.

Around noon I have lunch, today it’s carrots and houmous. I still felt hungry afterwards so I had some vegetable crisps.

I log into my work account and look at the intranet for news. I check my work emails and then look at social media for news that might be worth sharing with my colleges on the Care Leavers in HE JISCmail. I don’t like being on social media at the moment (I deleted my personal account earlier in the year) but I’ve found social media is very good for finding out about policies and events. I tend to prefer social media on Friday and Saturday because I like to see #FollowFriday posts; it’s normally how I find out about more positive news and interesting projects! I also log into my workplace Stream to watch some wellbeing videos. Yesterday I took part in a compassion meditation; I did it again today.

In the afternoon I visited my partner’s family, we sat in their garden and chatted. My partner’s father was chasing seagulls and pigeons off the roof of his house because they scare away smaller birds. He makes a lot of noise! At one point he got a whip out and swung it around, and the cracks made the bigger birds fly away.

My go home and have some dinner. I asked for salad and pasta. My partner loves cooking (and I hate cooking) so he often makes whatever I ask for. We watch some TV in the evening, though I didn’t pay attention today because I was getting ready for a shower and spraying the bedroom with aromatherapy oils. I sprayed a bit too heavy because I was sneezing after I came out of the shower. I asked my partner to put some moisturiser on my back because my hives have been awful this year! I’ve had four months of itchy nights. I put a silk scarf on my hair after my shower and go to sleep.

I’ve started this month with a compassion meditation

Get More Gabby May Meditation by Gabby Bernstein (found via gabbybernstein.com/thanks-for-signing-up-how-to-choose-happiness/)