Every Sunday until September I’ll be pulling a (virtual) card from the Universe Has Your Back deck and reflecting on it.

True healing occurs when I give myself permission to feel whatever feelings live below the triggers.

This card feels so relevant to me this month. Last week I wrote about direction. And I realised that the goals I set for myself are distractions; I equate change with an opportunity to leave issues that are getting me down. I love having goals. At the moment there are seven things I want to achieve. What I notice they all have in common is that they give me a degree of autonomy. That’s not to say that the goals I give myself are useless, or a mask for my problems, but that they represent a greater need in me. That need is to have control over my labour, and to feel good about the work I do.

Two things that pop up regularly in my thoughts are value and freedom. I want to make a difference; to do good in the world and feel proud of my efforts. I also want flexibility – which I do have now to a certain extent. But I also want to pursue what interests me – which is why I am regularly applying to courses and taking on additional jobs/work. I am interested in creativity, wellbeing and learning. I feel inspired by these issues and I want to work in areas that inspire me.

So my trigger – I think – is boredom and pointlessness.