Waking up exhausted
Panicked
The echinoderm globule floating before my eyes
Adjusting to the brightness
The fright
The fight
Not wanting to go to work
Feeling shame because it’s work
Work
No big deal

Like truancy at school
I should be there, I want to be there, I need to be there
But I can’t move
I’m afraid to leave my room
Raspy breaths escape my chest
The walls and doors slap me on my way to the bathroom
The boiler in the hallway throbs angrily
I shuffle past it, keeping eye contact
Patting my breastbone like I’m burping a baby
I know I have to make the call
I can’t come in, I’m ill
I am