I release my need to be perfect, and I center into my commitment to serve the world more love

I love a good blogging challenge, and I noticed some of the erotic blogosphere are taking part in Every Damn Day in June.

Everyday I will be plucking a card from my Miracles Now card deck and writing about what comes to mind…

In a couple of days I am starting a new job. I am afraid; not just because I have high standards for myself and I’ll feel disappointed if I don’t meet them but because I feel like I’ve reached a level of success where it feels inappropriate and insensitive to be unconfident.

I feel like the rich man who says Money doesn’t buy happiness. Or the attractive person who says Beauty is only skin deep. We have all probably heard these sayings and our responses are probably along the lines of I wish I knew, or It’s easy for you to say, or I agree, or Shut up! Whatever your feelings about wealth or beauty it doesn’t feel right that someone so privileged should be anything other than thankful. Or that we should extend our pity to them.

This is how I feel now about myself and I feel torn over it.

I decided years ago that I wanted to express myself. I felt it was important to be candid when it came to my emotions; especially as I want to work in the field of wellbeing and because my personal view is that sharing is good for our souls. We deserve to unburden ourselves.

But I feel, now, like I should shut up. I am working in a role that I feel hugely passionate about. I secured a decent salary and in a few months I’ll have more autonomy. What do I have to complain about?

Well I’ll tell you; fear of failure. I want to do a good job, I want to make people feel happy and safe. I want to make a difference.

This card reminds me that I will make mistakes, but also that I am trying to change what I see as wrong and I am doing that with love in my heart.