We all know that normal is a social construct. I get that, but for the sake of this post I’ll use this word to describe this time in the bereavement process when things are starting to resemble how they were before the loss. My days are a mixture of study (I’m attending two colleges; MidKent and Open College of the Arts), temporary work, and procrastination.

My to-do list is getting bigger and I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. Because normality is so exhausting when it’s not normal at all.

Loss has started to feel like a dull ache. A pain that occasionally twangs. On the surface, healed.

Over the past few months I kept to myself and did nothing out of the ordinary. Somedays not leaving bed. But now my world is opening up again and I see there is going to be so many experiences that I won’t be able to share with all of my loved ones. Things I cannot say. Times I cannot spend.