I release my need to be perfect, and I center into my commitment to serve the world more love
I love a good blogging challenge, and I noticed some of the erotic blogosphere are taking part in Every Damn Day in June.
Everyday I will be plucking a card from my Miracles Now card deck and writing about what comes to mind…
I am always reluctant to do goodbye posts, mainly because I often end up returning. But this time feels different – and that’s worth exploring.
Today is my final day working in a university. And I withdrew my acceptance to study a Masters earlier this year, so this is the first time in the past five years where I have not been connected to higher education in some way (either as an applicant, student or staff member). It feels sad to be leaving, but I feel ready to let go! The change feels like it was meant to be. My passion is driving me; I’m happy and I’m thankful to the route that brought me here.
I am excited about my new role.
I sat eating lunch today (yes! I took a break) and it suddenly dawned on me that I am going to miss my desk. I have my own office that I share with a colleague. My colleague does a lot of remote working so I am pretty much alone two days a week. I have my own space and a pretty swish desk.
My desk at Canterbury Christ Church University
I mean, look at it! I am so proud of it that I put some hooks up on the legs so my charging cable and headphones don’t make as much mess.
This is the type of desk I imagined sitting at in my forties, wearing a knitted tank top and gazing out the window. I’ll miss you desk. You are beautiful.
My penultimate month
In university
And I’ve finally found the courage to face you
We met last year
I had been avoiding you for some time
Refusing to work with you
Asking colleagues to deal with you
Over time we were introduced
I was in awe of your capacity
But always at fault
Months later people were asking me about you
Making requests I did not want to complete
I didn’t know how to begin
The stress pulsed at my temples
I resented you
But I knew that it was not me that broke you
It was the person before me
And the person before them
Who brought you in with no knowledge
Of how you work
I had to sit down and tear you apart
I saw how you were put together
But more than that
I saw the gaps in you that nobody noticed
And felt anger that you were corrupted
Deep down, there was no order or reason
To how they treated you
I hope I can fix you before I leave
