The comfort you brought
Sweet natured
Playful yet distinguished
I recall
The first time I held your lead
I felt as though I had won your respect
Afterwards you would place your favourite toy in my lap
You’d catch my throws rather than watch them drop
But I mostly loved
Your love for my family
And their love for you
The protectiveness of my nephew
Your patience
I realise your affection towards me
Was a small part of all the good in you

How can I explain
The sadness of your absence?
Missing you sunbathe in the afternoon
The way my Dad sneakily gave you sausages
My nephew putting his arms around you
Holiday photos full of you

I expect to see you on the moors
Standing still
Watching rabbits and birds

Quiet surrounds us

Sketching my design
A starry-eyed jade tree
Ripped roots
Plastered and bandaged up
Cosy soil pot
Inviting new occupants
Blushing neighbours
Welcoming
Extended their leaves
Opening the nectary
Making a bed

Every Crassulaceae Leaving Care Matters

An impossible feat
A mouse can’t eat
Something one hundred and fifty thousand times bigger than itself
Yet
I am going to try
I’ll start at the feet
Small nibbles
Each day a little braver
A mouthful a month
Digesting the decades

A sceptic would say
Why try? What difference will you make?
I reply; A smaller beast casts a smaller shadow

Dedicated to Ms De Havilland

As a child they could not keep me from the national curriculum
I read one poet for four years straight
Inspecting his words
Until I knew the correct way to interpret
The sounds, the syllables
The emphasis, the meaning
I still remember the gurgle of onomatopoeia
Annotating the margins
Alliteration
How many marks to the question
But I also remember the library
The echo of the old building
Finding a book on myths
And writing down everything I could find
Proud to share my research
My teacher asked Did you get this from Spark Notes?
Or maybe it was Cliff Notes
It was one of the Notes brothers I don’t remember
Later on I got a high pass
I was asked to do another essay
Because my B could have been a fluke
I got a low pass
My teacher was satisfied
I replanted myself in the library
Where I was fed, watered and bathed in sun
The worker bees filling the cells around me
I helped myself to the nectar
Every day I got greedier
Until it was time to leave
I still remember the final words
If you can write like this you’ll go far

I watch too many high school movies
In the past I joked
That I liked to point out sociological inaccuracies
Tired tropes
Actors who are obviously too old for the role
Characters being unbelievably cool and confident
It was like an alternative universe
Where school is like how it should have been
Safe, inspiring and opening opportunities

I wonder why I only want to work in universities and colleges
Am I trying to remake my own high school movie?
Refusing to leave until I get the ending I want
Throwing pop corn and booing
Pointing out errors
Being an awful customer
As I remind those in charge this service should be better
Seething about a vanity build, large salary and garden leave
Wondering what this will all achieve

This high school movie is neverending
Mixing nostalgia with pure fiction
The plot being sold to a third party