I’ve been fighting off a bug for a few days. But my body gave up today and now I’m home ill. I think I might be burnt out, which is very embarrassing to admit as I am doing a bare minimum. But it’s obviously an emotional burn out rather than a physical/mental one. I feel like a lot has changed this month so I am not being too hard on myself for feeling this way.

Never-the-less, I’m feeling low so please accept my apologies for the tone of this blog post. It may seem sad, but it is more reflective – and accepting/acknowledging of my shortcomings.

I finished my module for this year, I finished my term of counselling and now I’m looking for full-time work until December. I’m finding it even harder than before because, since I’ve been studying at post-graduate level, I am looking for something more mentally stimulating. Not because I feel like I’m better than I was before, but because I’ve noticed that keeping my mind exercised as often as possible improves my mental health. Plus I’d love to be in a situation where I can support folk like myself.

Back in 2015 I was interviewed by the City College Friends and Alumni Association (the page has since been archived but you can view the cache at web.archive.org/web/20150816191527/http://alumni.ccb.ac.uk/alumni/former-student-returning-to-college-a-second-time). At the time I wanted to be a Student Support and Guidance Tutor (or LTA ☺️) and I thought that after my Award in Education and Training alongside the PGCert I am working towards I’d have a better chance at being shortlisted. I am also applying to do a counselling course so I have another skill set to draw on. But criteria keeps growing and I cannot keep up! I don’t think I ever will be able to.

For example, here are the supporting statements applicants had to answer if they applied to be a SSGT in July 2015

1. Knowledge and Qualifications
   The successful candidate will be educated to degree level. She/he will be able to demonstrate they have a thorough understanding of the needs of the full range of students and the ability to address those needs wherever possible.
2. Communication and Presentation
   The successful candidate will demonstrate that they are able to communicate both verbally and in writing with students and a range of staff in 1-1 and group situations. They will be IT literate with a demonstrated ability to learn new IT skills and systems.
3. Sensitivity
   The successful candidate will be working with students with complex issues and will need to be able to demonstrate the qualities that are required to handle these situations in professional way.
4. Organisation and Planning
   The successful candidate will need to be able to demonstrate their organisational skills and their ability to work independently. Planning and time management are key to the role and she/he will need to prove their skills in this area.
5. Motivation
   The successful candidate will need to demonstrate their personal motivation for working with students at University level.
6. Team working and Collaboration
   The successful candidate will be working independently but also will be part of a thriving team of SSGTs across the University. He/she will need to be able to show how they can contribute to this team and their understanding of the benefits of collaborative work and professional networking.
7. Creativity and Problem Solving
   The successful candidate will need to be able to show they can ‘think on their feet’ to manage the range of issues students can present with and to show how inventive they can be in using facilities at their disposal to support students.

Now here are the supporting statements applicants have to answer if they apply this month (NB/ it’s currently only being advertised to internal applicants)

1. Knowledge of issues impacting student engagement (essential to the job)
   The successful candidate will demonstrate a thorough understanding of the issues impacting retention and engagement across the full range of students, and the ability to provide appropriate support and guidance.
2. Listening skills (essential to the job)
   You will be able to work with students who may be in distress or difficulty by using active listening skills; appreciate and be sensitive to the problems faced by students; and respect confidentiality where appropriate. Use examples to demonstrate you have these skills.
3. Professional Boundaries (essential to the job)
   The successful candidate will demonstrate their ability to set boundaries for oneself and for the service user and explain why this would be important in this role.
4. Communication Skills (essential to the job)
   The successful candidate will be able to communicate both verbally and in writing with students and a range of staff in 1-1 and group situations. Use examples to demonstrate you have these skills.
5. Escalation (essential to the job)
   Using examples from your personal and professional experience, demonstrate that you have the ability to work proactively and with limited direct supervision, while at the same time recognising when matters need to be escalated.
6. Interpersonal Skills (essential to the job)
   Strong interpersonal skills are necessary to sustain effective working relationships with colleagues across the university. Please provide examples that demonstrate you have these skills.
7. Qualifications/Relevant Experience (essential to the job)
   The successful candidate will have an honours degree or a relevant professional qualification or experience (e.g. teaching /counselling). Please indicate your relevant qualification(s).
8. Dealing with Complex Issues. (essential to the job)
   Many students present with complex issues to their SSGTs as their first port of call. Presentations can be emotional. The successful candidate should demonstrate substantial experience of working with students with complex issues, and able to handle situations in a clam, sensitive and professional way.
9. IAG Experience (essential to the job)
   The successful candidate will be driven to provide an excellent customer service to the students of their school. Provide examples to show your experience of providing advice and guidance in a customer focused service.
10. Independent Working (essential to the job)
    The successful candidate will have a proven ability to work independently, manage time and prioritise effectively.
11. Recording Case Notes. (essential to the job)
    Recording details of student interactions on a centralised, restricted access, database as well as dealing with enquiries received through this system is an essential part of the role.The successful candidate will be used to keeping records of interactions and responding to enquiries electronically.
12. IT Skills (essential to the job)
    Able to use full suite of Microsoft packages.
13. Team work and Collaboration (essential to the job)
    Demonstrate with relevant examples from your previous personal or professional experience that you understand the benefits of team work and collaboration.
14. Report writing (essential to the job)
    You may be required to write year-end reports based on analysis of data extracted from database. These can be shared with the schools as well as Student Services. The successful candidate will demonstrate they have some experience of writing reports.

I feel a little bit disheartened that I invested (and let’s face it, I got a student loan and took flexible/part-time low grade work) so much in something that is always being lifted slightly out of my reach. It seems that no matter how hard I try, I am always mediocre.