I only seem to blog when I’m off ill or on holiday. I’m kinda doing both at the moment. I had unused TOIL from last academic year and I woke up this  morning with a case of burn out and ongoing backache.

I feel like a lot has happened but newer things push the older memories out. Oh well. I hope I don’t miss anything important.

Offer
I had my interview two weeks ago and was offered a place on MAIAP. I haven’t had time to take it in and, occasionally, when I remind myself I was offered the place I start to panic. I wish I had some time off before it starts so I can prepare a bit. But, nope. When I went into the interview I was expecting them to say they like me but I just don’t have enough experience yet. It turns out that I do have the experience. Wow.

Manifesto
When I was a student last academic year, I stood for part-time rep. After withdrawing from my course the position remained vacant. I’m not sure if it is still vacant but if it is I’m going to see if I can get co-opted in. It’s weird reading the manifesto now. It feels like a lifetime ago. brightonsu.com/elections/manifesto/639/

Year
It has been just over a year since there were two bereavements in my family. I regret not taking better care of myself at the time but that’s easy to say in hindsight. Looking back has been therapeutic, though. I vividly remember the grief at the time and feeling like I was in a fog. I remember the stress of dealing with various official bodies and the administration of death. I remember the days visiting back home that dragged like months. I am so relieved that those days have passed.

Collage
Lately I’ve been practicing art again. I had to put a portfolio together for my interview and I made some pieces to show my museum mentee. I enjoyed making an alumni themed collage.
https://twitter.com/ninabrighton/status/770605191620067328

Minecraft
Minecraft: Education Edition is free to try for those of you with an academic email address. I’m hoping to set up a collaborative build. At the moment, it’s just hard getting the word out to the student population.

Pens
I’ve got another photo up on StudentCentral this month.

Anxiety
My museum mentee sessions so far have been done with the assistance of the museum volunteer coordinator (who is brilliant and very supportive). Next month, I start sessions without her assistance and I’m a little bit nervous. Well, actually more than a little bit nervous. It feels unprofessional vocalising my feelings about being afraid to do something alone. I know these feelings will pass. But the meantime is difficult.

I spent the rest of my annual leave and the following week ill. I am not sure what was cause or effect but I had neck/shoulder ache, poor hearing and dizzy spells. I think it may have been a result of my long-term temporomandibular joint problems.

Despite my dizziness, I attempted two trips in my annual leave. One to Arundel and the other to Tate Modern. Unfortunately my dizziness and soreness made the whole week a blur. I do remember feeling disorientated by floor two of the Tate Modern. On the bright side, I ended up going to the Institute of Contemporary Art and getting excited about the work there. Yay.

I finally put in my university application and I had one reference back within two days. I’m a little bit nervous waiting for the other. I logged into mysite and saw my title had changed so I’m officially an applicant again! I realise I’ve spent more time being an applicant than I have been a student. Hopefully things will work out this time.

In the week I returned to work I found out that my casual role now has no regular hours. I have been in the role since October 2014 – in previous years I have always managed to work at least twelve hours a week. This year I won’t be guaranteed any hours at all. I’m not disappointed. I’m grateful I had two years of regular work and I’m lucky I was even able to get that much on a casual contract.

Realistically, if I am successful in my university application, I need to focus on my studying as much as possible. Without regular work, I’ll have plenty of free time to focus on that. So I have no excuses this time around.

I have to keep thinking positively that I’ll find a flexible part-time job in the meantime or I’ll be able to stay afloat until the end of the course. And if luck is on my side, I’ll fall into a nice full-time job afterwards.

Nephew
I love him

We miss you @ninabrighton #Brighton pic.twitter.com/X9Tfq1IT4p

— Chloe Wilson (@Chloeangel266) July 18, 2016

Animation
I went to an animation workshop run by Tony Gammidge. I made an animation with a group of lovely folk. I’ll post the result when it has finished being edited. I had such a great time at the workshop and I’ll be planning to do some more animation in the future.

I woke up this morning – the first day of my annual leave – with a sore throat and headache. I’m still feeling miserable from the EU referendum results. On top of that someone reminded me that it’s six months to Christmas. Whenever I’m feeling run down I like to fill my head with wanderlust, so I headed over to the GoEuro twitter and saw they are running a travel inspiration competition.

#BloggerCompetiton! Win £500 with GoEuro More details can be found here https://t.co/kgyNs8vbLD #Prize #Travel #FridayFeeling

— Omio (@OmioGlobal) June 24, 2016

Well how could I resist?

Glasgow

I first became interested in Glasgow a few years ago when I stumbled upon Some Recent Attacks by James Kelman in a local secondhand bookshop. I read about Glasgow being the European Capital of Culture in 1990 and it’s growth since. Handily the book fitted in quite nicely with a college project I was doing at the time so I was pretty thankful that I found it.

My dream trip (food and art tour)

Hotel
I’ll start of by saying I’m a huge fan of comfort so I’d love to stay in CitizenM. Normally I’d stay in a budget hotel but as I’m describing my dream trip, I’m going to splash out!

Museums
I just cannot go away without spending at least half my time in museums and galleries. I’m particularly excited by Centre for Contemporary Arts, Tramway and Gallery of Modern Art. Also, as a bit of a museum nerd, I wouldn’t be able to resist a visit to Glasgow Museums Resource Centre. I highly recommend researching before you plan any museum trip to find out about behind the scenes tours and events. GMRC have an events database with details of everything they offer events.glasgowlife.org.uk

I also hope to spend a day at House for an Art Lover and take part in an art class.

Street Art
Check out Glasgow’s street art. The council even created a City Centre Mural Trail.

Botanic gardens
One of my favorite past-times is going to gardens and having cream tea (you can take the girl out of the Westcountry but not the Westcountry out of the girl!) I do love a good garden and Glasgow Botanic Gardens looks gorgeous.

Food

Glasgow has a bunch of vegetarian-friendly food places and my mouth waters just thinking about them. I will definitely have to visit the 78 and Mono. The Mono menu looks amazing (I love Seitan).

I’ll also be visiting Ushas.

Well, it’s out there now

https://twitter.com/ninabrighton/status/745624623023259648

I spent today trying to get my references sorted and get some clarification on a handful of other questions I had. I’m not ashamed to admit I feel frightened about reapplying. I withdrew from my undergraduate course this year because I realised it was not everything I hoped it would be – that was my mistake.

However, I have spent months researching this course and qualification. I’ve bombarded the department and student services with emails so I can reassure myself I will get the support I need. I’ve reviewed my schedule on a weekly basis to identify areas where I stretch myself too thin and tried to arrange a well-balanced routine.

Last year I was ill-prepared for study. This time around I’ve tried my best to make sure I’m as secure as I can be. So, if I withdraw or fail it won’t be my mistake – it will be me.

Anyway, it’s raining and thundering and lightning so I’m going to gaze out of the window while I think some more.

Next week I am on holiday. I checked my calendar and this will be the first time I’ve taken a week off this year (though it is possible my calendar may be wrong). Oh gosh I need this holiday so badly. I’ll be staying at home because I currently can’t afford to go away. This is probably a blessing because travelling to visit relatives takes up a lot of time and is stressful – I often feel like I need a holiday when I come back.

I’m looking forward to having a lie-in every day.

Nights
The past few weeks have dragged. My nighttime panic attacks are becoming more regular and more violent. I’m not sure whether they are a response to a handful of severe triggers I’ve experienced lately or if my lack of sleep is making me more susceptible to triggers. Either way, I’ve noticed the warning signs and I’m distancing myself from harmful situations.

Summer
My ex-classmates have finished year one of their degree now and many of them are back home. It’s funny that I feel a pang of pain when I think about my withdrawal, not so much because I’ve left the course but because I am no longer taking the journey with them. They have found the course stimulating and, ultimately, rewarding. I never felt that way so I know I have no reason feel like I’m missing out, but I do. I can’t figure out why I do.

Mentoring
I took a break from museum volunteering but I’m back doing my mentor training now. It’s wonderful being back in the museum. I walked in last week and my heart swelled when I saw my colleagues. I felt welcome, safe and appreciated. I can’t wait to get started on upcoming projects!

Trade unionism
This week is UNISON National Delegate Conference and I’m popping in and out as a guest throughout the week. The last time I attended I was as a delegate in 2013. It’s great to see some of my favourite people from all over the country. I also visited the TUC office for the first time last week. It was really exciting, for me, to see it and be there.

Module
I’ve contacted Free University Brighton and asked to be put on the mailing list for their gender and feminism module. I think, out of everything I’m interested in, gender is the thing I enjoy (and feel confident) talking about the most. I’m excited to find out more about it.