Next week I am on holiday. I checked my calendar and this will be the first time I’ve taken a week off this year (though it is possible my calendar may be wrong). Oh gosh I need this holiday so badly. I’ll be staying at home because I currently can’t afford to go away. This is probably a blessing because travelling to visit relatives takes up a lot of time and is stressful – I often feel like I need a holiday when I come back.

I’m looking forward to having a lie-in every day.

Nights
The past few weeks have dragged. My nighttime panic attacks are becoming more regular and more violent. I’m not sure whether they are a response to a handful of severe triggers I’ve experienced lately or if my lack of sleep is making me more susceptible to triggers. Either way, I’ve noticed the warning signs and I’m distancing myself from harmful situations.

Summer
My ex-classmates have finished year one of their degree now and many of them are back home. It’s funny that I feel a pang of pain when I think about my withdrawal, not so much because I’ve left the course but because I am no longer taking the journey with them. They have found the course stimulating and, ultimately, rewarding. I never felt that way so I know I have no reason feel like I’m missing out, but I do. I can’t figure out why I do.

Mentoring
I took a break from museum volunteering but I’m back doing my mentor training now. It’s wonderful being back in the museum. I walked in last week and my heart swelled when I saw my colleagues. I felt welcome, safe and appreciated. I can’t wait to get started on upcoming projects!

Trade unionism
This week is UNISON National Delegate Conference and I’m popping in and out as a guest throughout the week. The last time I attended I was as a delegate in 2013. It’s great to see some of my favourite people from all over the country. I also visited the TUC office for the first time last week. It was really exciting, for me, to see it and be there.

Module
I’ve contacted Free University Brighton and asked to be put on the mailing list for their gender and feminism module. I think, out of everything I’m interested in, gender is the thing I enjoy (and feel confident) talking about the most. I’m excited to find out more about it.