Development of statement of intent:

My statement of intent originally set out to investigate feminist messages and content in campaigns, products and publications, and to challenge the often called out insincerity of these. In my research leading up to my final major project I looked at the rise of feminist slogan t-shirts and other products, as well as campaigns aimed at feminist movements, for example H&M’s “Like a Lady” video, which was hailed as “the feminist advert we all need in our lives” for its inclusion and celebration of different presentations of femininity, despite it also making headlines that the brand pulled plus-size clothing from some of its stores. I wanted to set out to experiment with my skills and passion for graphic design and self-publishing, to fill a gap in the market of independent zines and feminist publications that could challenge these messages we are fed by big names in the fashion industry.

My research in the process of this project began by coming across an article in an older issue of music and culture magazine CRACK, titled “Progressive Publishing: Is This a Golden Era for Female-Focused Zines?” which inspired me with words from Angeli Bhose of Cuntry Living: “When companies take advantage of the growing interest around feminism in popular culture and try to sell it back to us, re-packaged, it is really frustrating.” The article highlighted how “feminism continues to become steadily commodified by brands seeking to target a millennial, socially-aware audience” and that “zine publishers risk being sucked into the slipstream of major companies” – this made me realise that it is an increasingly difficult task to create a feminist publication that can make waves in a movement that is being adopted by so many brands and publications already, and may risk losing its genuineness or originality.

Initial publication and trend research

I researched and analysed the content and tone of existing alternative and independent publications I already admire, for example Mushpit which comments on contemporary society an attitudes in art, fashion and culture and focuses on satirical features and adverts, as well as more focused feminist zines such as Sister and Polyester which are full of contributors’ submissions around specific themes, aimed at creating a safe space for readers to express themselves away from the world of mass-produced, mainstream publications and media. I wanted to fill a gap in the market by finding a middle-ground – was it possible to create an independent publication that allowed readers to input their views, words and visuals while commenting on the attitudes, politics and lifestyles brands so often buy into and try to sell back to us?

I started to think about lifestyles and attitudes that are popular at the moment and that I had observed both online and in the world around me. I decided to focus my research on the surging trend in “self-care”, which many brands have very recently been using to invent and promote products which claim to help us look after ourselves, or become a better “you” – when really “self-care” is not something that can be bought with an expensive yoga mat, diet guide or silky pyjamas. An article published on online platform Girlboss brought these issues to light; titled “Selling Self-Care: The Awkward Perils Of Going Mainstream”, it commented on the capitalist issues surrounding this trend and how important behaviours for our physical and mental health can lose their meaning or importance when marketed as a fashion statement, or something that only the privileged can access. I decided to focus the first issue of my publication around the word “comfort”, relating to this lifestyle trend, and put out a call for submissions online and around university asking for diverse content responding to this word in terms of fashion, art, food, mental health and personal thoughts.

The project as a personal journey

This was when the progress of FILLER began to change direction. The more research I carried out into this area, the more it became focused on food and eating habits, and how we are constantly bombarded with new products, diets, or even specific foods that we should be eating or how we should be eating. WGSN brought my attention to the rise of “intuitive eating” as the next rising food trend after so-called “clean eating”. While we are constantly scrolling through filtered photos on Instagram of perfectly arranged plates of avocado on toast, smoothies and raw salads, behind this there is a newer trend in eating what you want, how you want, when you want. Listening to your body, and enjoying what you eat. It may not always be “healthy” or perfectly photogenic, but life isn’t.

This topic became very personal to me as I have suffered from anorexia from the age of 14, and just before I began this project went through a relapse which severely damaged my health and nearly resulted in me having to leave university. I wanted this project to become part of my recovery, to help me along the way in my journey to rediscovering my love of food and life – and to create something not only meaningful and helpful to me, but also to others who might see what I am doing. Cook and food writer Ruby Tandoh’s recently released book Eat Up! comments on the importance of food in relation to our happiness, health (mental and emotional as well as physical) and how it forms part of who we are.

Creation and development

My first creative piece of work I wanted to include in the project was a still life shoot capturing people’s admitted comfort foods – I wanted to capture how the foods we really enjoy to eat, that lift our mood, make us feel safe and warm and comfortable, often are not the ones we post on social media or show off about. They are often less photogenic, perhaps messy or greasy or limited in colour (and typical nutrition), but they are still important in our lives. I collected answers via an online survey which confirmed my thoughts, and picked a selection of foods to photograph, which formed part of my first editorial for FILLER.

I had already started collecting other visual and textual submissions for the zine, which had also ended up being heavily food-related. This gave me the confidence to change the concept of FILLER to being solely food and lifestyle oriented – luckily the titled of FILLER was still relevant and I am very happy with the connotations the word has when placed in this context. I decided that the concept of FILLER was to “provoke conversation and thought around current trending topics, without taking itself too seriously”. Therefore this issue became focused entirely on comfort food.

I received a great number of submissions, some from friends and some from people I had never had contact with before, all showing their interest for this topic, which proved my thoughts around the passion people really do have for enjoyment of food (whether it is “clean” or not).

I didn’t want FILLER to lose its roots in fashion and trend investigation, however fashion editorials are not a strong point of mine. I have always preferred candid, simplistic photography, and so I decided to use this to create a (sort of) fashion editorial for the zine, using people’s comfort foods as a kind of prop, and actually quite a main focus, in the photos. My further knowledge and research into youth trends highlighted a trend in nightwear and lingerie, notably silky, pastel fabrics and loungewear – which coincidentally link to this rising trend in self care, looking after and loving yourself. I wanted to create a candid, intimate photo shoot, which looked at the clandestine act of comfort eating in bed, perhaps in glamorous lingerie or nightwear. The photos focused on the act of eating more than the fashion itself, combining feminine pastel colours with grotesque, messy foods such as cheeseburgers and pies (which I styled with ornate glass and silverware to parody how inexpensive and unglamorous they are often perceived to be).

Experimentation and content creation

Above all, I wanted FILLER to have the ability to network and form connections with other influencers challenging these trends and inspiring change. I contacted Eleanor Nadimi, founder of homewares brand One Nine Eight Five, who released a product range and campaign raising money for eating disorder charity Beat after a relative passed away after a fight with anorexia. I wanted FILLER to show the difference between insincere messages of positivity purely to sell products, and the genuine concern of people close to a cause. My interview with Eleanor was casual and turned into more of a chat about our shared values, aims and our mutual concern for eating disorder awareness – however it was a great example of a brand with personal and sentimental values and connection to her followers – which is everything I want my zine to be.

Before I lose track with the creative process of my project, I also wanted to use the development of this zine to experiment more in printing, design and production methods that I am passionate about or have always admired. I am interested in alternative printing methods and wanted to try letterpress, so visited London Centre for Book Arts for a letterpress class. This enabled me to gain experience in something I had never tried before, and formed typography in part of my zine. I also asked a fellow university student and friend Samuel Rockett to design a freebie poster that I could risograph print (I have used risograph previously in personal work and love the contemporary, bright colours and screenprinted look it creates). I made the decision quite early on to produce FILLER as a tabloid/newspaper style publication, to reflect its content commenting on trends and what is essentially “news” in the food/lifestyle industries.

Other content I created took a lighthearted approach to other elements of trends I have observed. For example there is a youth trend in astrology and spirituality, with more and more young adults taking notice of horoscopes – Instagram alone is filled with “memes” dissecting our signs and how that explains our behaviour and personality traits. A popular app called Co-Star gives users daily astrological updates, and also allows you to add your friends so that you can view their natal charts and read in-depth compatibility results. So I created a satirical horoscopes feature in the zine, which turned knowledge of each star sign into lighthearted guidance on lifestyle and food habits, for example suggesting that Scorpios should “stop comparing your foodie Instagram pics to everyone else’s”. The rise in “mindfulness” colouring books for adults’ mental health inspired me to create a “self-care must haves” colouring page, which used my personal illustration style to depict typical self-care products and behaviours for readers to colour in.

The lighthearted and fun approach I wanted this project to have was reflected in the graphic design – sometimes mismatching, hand-drawn and unpolished, I wanted it to in a way resemble the DIY punk zines I had previously researched, while providing a contemporary, digitalised take. I included hand-drawn renderings of classic newspaper-style fonts, e.g. old English headline styles, typewriter fonts and Times New Roman, along with brightly coloured imagery and collage-style graphics. Although I feel I could never be satisfied with the layout and design, I feel like FILLER is a work in progress and each issue will develop and change with the progression of my learning and understanding in the self-publishing industry.

Progression

Through creating an online presence for FILLER from the beginning of the project it helped me gain potential readers, contributors and collaborators and allowed me to network with other creatives and publishers. I was invited to London College of Communication’s event Voices in Publishing which allowed zine-makers to network and promote their work as well as attend talks with editors from other zines including Sister. I was also informed recently that my zine has been chosen to exhibit at Somerset House’s upcoming PROCESS! Festival in July, which is co-curated by another one of my favourite independent magazines, OOMK. I feel that this project has opened up so many new connections and paths for me that I hope will only continue to expand in the future. Creating this zine has not only been challenging in a creative sense – forcing me to get out of my comfort zone, experiment more and perfect work to a sellable standard – but also mentally, becoming part of my recovery journey from my eating disorder, helping me to put myself and my experiences out there and become a “changemaker” in a world of mass-produced media.