Tegan, 17 years old, said that people usually began to date at the age of 14, which is not a big surprise for most Chinese people now. Because teenagers in China nowadays tend to start a relationship at an earlier age than before. You can notice that there are a lot of younger lovers in the street when students are on a day off . However, most junior and senior high schools in China don’t allow students to date in school considering it might have a bad effect on their study. Some schools have very strict rules upon this issue where boys and girls are not allowed to do many things which seem very intimate. For example, if you are caught being together with an opposite sex student for a long time by the school teachers or CCTV, you are very likely to get into trouble. In contrast, students in UK seem to have more freedom.
When asked what qualities you value most when you consider choosing your dating partner, Tegan mentioned loyalty and fun. Even though different people may have different preferences, being nice and humorous might be considered as one of the most commonly preferred qualities around the globe.
Well, as for the homosexual relationship, there exists a huge difference between UK and China. Simon, a middle aged man in Brighton said homosexual relationship is very well accepted in UK, especially in Brighton. The LGBT(lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) community of Brighton and Hove is one of the largest in the United Kingdom. Brighton is generally agreed to be the unofficial “gay capital” of the UK, with records pertaining to LGBT history dating back to the early 19th century. If you are one of them, you are welcome to Brighton. You can easily find many gay pubs and clubs and you are sure to enjoy your life here without anybody’s any prejudice. Brighton is such an open and amazing city that it attracts hundreds and thousands of people all around the whole world.
Just as many people believe, nothing is a problem here.
However, things are very, very different in China. Nowadays, homosexuality is generally considered a taboo for most people. Those who are in homosexual relationships are under much pressure and have to live a rather ‘ secret life’. Hopefully, things can change a bit better in the future. Personally I think it is their own choice whom they are dating with. Whether it is a ‘ she’ or a ‘ he’, it is their own thing.
Jamie and Paula have recently been engaged. When asked what the best gift is for Paula, he said ‘ trip’. Yes, many people prefer to travel with their partners as they can have a chance to know each other better and if they are still being together after the trip, it might show that they are likely to go deeper. It seems to be a common thing at every corner on the earth.
As for eating out, Chinese men are more likely to take the bill. It is well believed among men that it is a good chance to show their generosity and kindness when they pay for the meal. So if you choose a Chinese boy friend, just enjoy his hospitality and do not try to steal the chance of paying for the meal otherwise he might feel losing face.
However, Jamie and Paula usually take turns to take the bill. Jamie thinks that it is not a big deal whether you pay or I pay as long as we both feel comfortable.
One interesting difference is about meeting parents. When you take your partner to meet your parents in China, it probably means that you two are very likely to get married or at least you want to marry him/her. People take it very seriously when they consider introducing their partner to their own parents. It is really an important thing. If one is going to meet her/his partner’s parents, she/ he has to have an extremely careful preparation as if she/ he is going to have a very important school exam. Many people find it really hard to satisfy her/ his parents as many Chinese parents have relatively higher expectations upon their future daughter-in-law or son- in -law.
Well, nothing is absolute. There are also many parents who would like to respect their children’s choices and they are really very nice and friendly when they meet their child’s partner. Some parents even get more nervous than the young people do. They might spend a whole day to prepare a feast to welcome the future member of their family.
However, things are very different in UK. Ken, a professor in a well known university in Brighton said that his parents had met dozens of his girl friends before he got married.
If you feel he/she is not the right person for you after dating for some time, will you tell him/her directly or tentatively? As for this question, different people have different opinions. Simon preferred to tell his partner directly as he thought it might be good for her and he expected more changes in future. However, some people prefer a more tentative way as they try to avoid causing too much hurt to the other person.
Sarah, a single mom with a 17- year-old daughter, said the best way to get out of bad mood after breaking up is to keep herself busy, traveling, working, driving, everything that can keep her occupied is fine, while Simon jokingly said he might have sex. When asked do you want to interfere when your daughter chooses her boyfriend, Sara said she did. She cared a lot about the boy’s job, habit and personality. Upon this, parents in China also hope to put forward their own suggestions and many parents try to have the final say. Generally speaking, the relationship between generations in China is much closer compared with other countries and therefore children in China tend to take their parents’ opinions more seriously.
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