At times I would like to be creative however I have no drive to work on a more focused piece so instead I use my intuitive sketchbook. This typically starts with some mark making using a variety of paints, pens and pencils. I also write down whatever comes to my head during this process; memories; intrusive thoughts; sounds I can hear on the TV etc. I then dive into my personal archive of memories and use them to facilitate smaller illustrations, drawing whatever comes into my head, as soon as it arrives. The result is often random, however often shapes into a specific period in my life or an experience I have had. To anyone other than myself, the final pieces are nonsensical.

 

Memory of a story told to me by my mum, as a child.

This particular piece began as a way of making the most of a ‘failed’ drawing in one of my sketchbooks that I wanted to repurpose. I began with mark making and collaging some scrap paper, an image of a fairy, flowers and a label from a birthday card. This sparked the memory of a story my mum used to tell me and my sister of fairies living in the garden, hence the butterflies and fairy drawings. Interestingly, my sister immediately recognised this to be that story as I showed it to her and asked for her reaction.

New York

This piece was really fun to do and was shaped around the initial sketch that I had done resembling the Empire State Building (or even the Chrysler). A few years ago I took a trip to New York so a lot of the writing is based around those memories, such as ‘I ate a hotdog once.’ What I love about creating pieces like this is dredging thoughts and words up from my innermost thoughts as well as those that pop into my head as soon as I take time to open my brain up in this way. Some of the phrases make me laugh – ‘don’t let spring bounce your tiddies too hard’ – and some evoke memories personal to me – ‘Ben & Jerry.’ A few of the sketches are reminiscent of Jean-Michel Basquiat, with his haphazard and cathartic style propelling my way of working.

Childhood Bedroom

This drawing of my childhood bedroom was the first in my intuitive series. I had no intention of beginning working in this way. This piece had started a few months before I decided to take in any further with just the yellow paint that I had initially intended to turn into a fashion illustration. I lost inspiration for the piece hence leaving it for months. I then went back to it and worked over with some random mark making using markers and crayons. Slowly, this developed into a drawing of my childhood bedroom with the notes and lyrics on the left of the page representing the music of Yann Tiersen, who I listened to a lot going to sleep when I was very young. This piece represents my earliest memories and holds no resemblance to how my room had actually looked but for me is powerful in evoking imagery of my childhood. Interestingly, I did this piece in low lighting so upon turning on the lights it was a completely new piece, adding to the chaos of it. In the bottom right corner is a hint of a nightmare I used to have as a child and thoughts that would come into my head at the age of about 2/3. I really enjoy working in this way when I know I want to create but I have no brain power to use on a project on dedicated piece.

Into my mind

This page is less so a piece of art and more a snapshot into my mind as it works on auto-pilot. I find that the more I let my brain run by itself, the more random memories, that I haven’t thought about for years, will show themselves from the deepest files in my head. That being said, lots of the text represents intrusive thoughts that are again, provoked by this way of thinking. I wouldn’t consider this piece to be finished – I may find myself going back and working on this page when I am in the mood to open up. As I mentioned, this type of work is very satisfying and is like an exercise in refreshing my creativity.