Mors Ego
Creative writing
The Fear of Being Seen
Today I stand at the precipice of my career. After years of studying, drawing and writing, with the knowledge of how and where I must proceed, and the excitement of beginning a journey I have spent a decade preparing for, I hesitate. Something holds me back. The fear of being seen.
I know I am not alone in this feeling, this anxiety of stepping out and declaring “Look at this!”. Perhaps it is the fear of harsh criticism, the unshakable perfectionism that prevents us from ever sharing our work, or the insecurity spawned from the online world’s fleeting, yet permanent nature. Yes. Yes to all of them. And for a creator in this digital age, the requirement to have an online presence can feel inescapable. To have a portfolio, promotional material and a network all rolled into one @ handle. These are just my musings over social media anxiety and how that creates a barrier between myself and the graphic novel publishing industry.
The distinction between comic books and graphic novels is often blurred, after all, they are practically the same thing, right? The difference may seem pedantic, but generally, comics run on a release via magazines, newspapers or publications, meanwhile, graphic novels tend to be the length of a typical novel and released as a singular book. Think of it as the difference between a TV show and a film. Rather than explore the long and detailed global history of visual sequential narratives, I want to understand what graphic/comic book publishing looks like today.
Illustrator and author duo John Chalmers and Sandra Marrs say that when it comes to the graphic/comic book industry “There isn’t one path to follow. As with many artistic or creative careers, each individual will have his or her own path, that they will have to create along the way”. (J Chalmers & S Marrs, 2013)
While this may be true in theory, in practice, there are two main paths. Self-publication and traditional publication. The former has a deep history with cartoonists, zines, and fandom culture. Some cartoonists self-publish their work on platforms such as WebToon, Tapas and GlobalComix (the latter hosts work from independent creators as well as big publishing houses) or at events such as ComicCon and other fandom-based conventions. Additionally, they may self-publish through websites such as Mixam and their print-on-demand PrintLink service, which print and deliver books for a fee.
The latter is very similar to other forms of publishing, you may send a query directly to a graphic novel publisher (or an inprint that specialises in graphic novels) such as SelfMadeHero, Dark Horse Comics or Nobrow. After carefully selecting publishers to contact by looking through their titles and interests, it’s time to write a pitch. This includes a short synopsis, relevant illustrations, the creative team, contact information and a document on copyright infringement (M Bidilică, 2022).
The next problem that arises is whether a publisher will even lay eyes on that pitch, or if it will be left to collect dust. That is where the agent comes in. Rather than contacting a publishing house directly, the agent handles the legal aspects and reaches out on your behalf. “The advantage to having an agent is that they have existing relationships with editors and publishers, which means they’re more likely to read agents’ submissions.” (K Woodman-Maynard, 2025) Finding an agent includes a query letter, specifications (projected page count, genre, target audience and more), a synopsis, sample art and a script/storyboard (K Woodman-Maynard, 2025).
Either way, having an online presence is key. As previously mentioned, social media allows us to build an audience who then may purchase our work (be it through traditional publishing or self-publishing), as well as offer potential agents and publishers an online portfolio and point of contact. Therefore, our online presence needs to cater both to our target audience while maintaining a certain level of professionalism.
On the internet, you have complete control over what you post, how you present yourself, and through which platforms. After that, you have no control whatsoever, how people perceive you, if people perceive you, the effects and the interpretations an audience may have, suddenly all that initial control means nothing, it was just an illusion. Holly Bray coaches small business owners and writes blogs on the topics of productivity, planning and entrepreneurship. In her blog post ‘How To Successfully Overcome Fear With Your Online Presence’, Bray proposes five actions to overcome one’s fear of having an online presence. The second action stuck out to me, ‘Remember Your Why’ in which Bray suggests not only figuring out ones overarching purpose for being online but understanding it deeper as well.
What is my why? Why do I want to be a storyteller – why does it matter so much to me? Because I believe that stories train our ability to empathize as though it were a muscle, one under constant threat of atrophying. Award-winning author, educator and entrepreneur Dr Emad Rahim is also a survivor of genocide. He told his story in the short film Against The Odds (2011) and in the theatre production Tales from the Salt City (2008). “Our stories are powerful tools that can be used to confront social problems. When a personal story is being shared we unconsciously create an emotional connection with the storyteller and empathize with their experience.” (Rahim, E. 2017) This applies to fictional stories as well, as explored in Paul J. Zak’s How Stories Change the Brain (2013). “Stories that are personal and emotionally compelling engage more of the brain, and thus are better remembered, than simply stating a set of facts.” (P.J Zak, 2013)
So while social media may be unavoidable for the modern artist, the anxiety that comes with it can be overcome. By remembering why. Allow the passion, the excitement of our purpose as creatives outmatch our fears of perception and failure. “You will never be able to create anything interesting out of your life if you don’t believe that you’re entitled to at least try.” (E. Gilbert, 2015)
Bibliography:
O’Brien Holmes, S. (2020). What’s a Comic and What’s a Graphic Novel? Writer and The Wolf. Available at: https://www.writerandthewolf.com/2023/10/21/whats-a-comic-and-whats-a-graphic-novel/ [Accessed 09/06/2025].
Chalmers, J., Marrs, S. (2013). Advice for Aspiring Comic Creators and Graphic Novelists. Metaphrog. Available at: https://metaphrog.com/2013/07/02/advice-for-aspiring-comic-creators-and-graphic-novelists/ [Accessed 09/06/2025].
Woodman-Maynard, K. (2025). How to Land an Agent for a Graphic Novel. Jane Friedman. Available at: https://janefriedman.com/how-to-land-an-agent-for-a-graphic-novel/ [Accessed 09/06/2025].
Bidilică, M. (2022). 30 Best Graphic Novel Publishers to Know in 2024: A Short Intro Into How to Pitch Your Graphic Novel. Publishdrive. Available at: https://publishdrive.com/graphic-novel-publishers.html [Accessed 09/06/2025].
Bray, H. (2017). How To Successfully Overcome Fear With Your Online Presence. A Branch of Holly. Available at: https://abranchofholly.com/blog/overcome-fear [Accessed 09/06/2025].
Rahim, E. (2022). How can we develop empathy through storytelling? LinkedIn. Available at: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-can-we-develop-empathy-through-storytelling-dr-emad/ [Accessed 09/06/2025].
Zak, P. J. (2013). Mind & Body: How Stories Change the Brain. Greater Good Science Magazine. Berkeley: University of California. Available at: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ [Accessed 09/06/2025].
Gilbert, E. (2015). Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. New York: Penguin Group, Riverhead Books
Indie Publishing: An Abridged History
The publishing industry, much like any industry, has had guidelines, checks and balances in place for its entire lifespan. Even before literature started being published for the sake of entertainment rather than solely education or the spread of religion, there were strict rules in place as to who was permitted to reproduce books and what methods were permissible (as an example: prior to the advent of the printing press in the west by goldsmith Johannes Gutenberg, the only people who were permitted to reproduce the Bible were monks, scribes, and other church officials primarily using the exceedingly expensive material vellum in place of paper). This has led to certain genres and topics being considered either ‘low brow’ or undesirable, also in part due to how capital has become a larger and larger focus of publishers over the years, which in turn was one of the things which helped popularize the act of indie publishing over the past few hundred years.
The emergence of indie publishing was helped in no small part by the Arts and Crafts Movement. The roots of the movement began with various retaliatory groups and figures which began to gain popularity during the industrial revolution of Britain between the 18th and 19th centuries. One such figure, and the primary inspiration behind the Arts and Crafts movement, was a man by the name of William Morris who was a textile designer, poet, translator, and notable socialist activist. Morris, as an artisan by trade, was one of the many who felt as though the Industrial Revolution was a threat to the handcrafted arts of the United Kingdom, as the push to favour standardized machine-made goods (which were cheaper and faster to produce than handcrafted goods) gradually saw trade artisans lose valuable customers and, thus, their livelihoods. He would eventually found Kelmscott Press after a long career in various political and social causes, such as campaigning against architectural restoration and being a dedicated member of the Social Democratic Federation after embracing Marxism in the 1880s (although he was also influenced by ideas of Anarchism). Kelmscott Press was a small independent publishing house which focused on publishing limited-edition hand-illustrated books, and the impact of such a house ran by a notable social figure was even felt in the United States.
While the Arts and Crafts Movement began in England, the States were quick to adopt its core ideas of rejecting standardized modernity and taking matters into their own hands for the sake of obtaining more freedom with the art they produced, although the socialist overtones of its British counterpart were largely lost in America. Despite this difference, Morris was also touted as a seminal figure of the Movement in North American countries, something which can be seen even today in the existence of multiple branches of the William Morris Society which can be found in Washington DC in the U.S, Toronto in Canada, and Hammersmith in England. It was, in part, Morris’ ideas and actions which helped the indie publishing scene eventually flourish in these countries, although it was not until the early 1940s that the term ‘vanity publishing’ was first popularized to refer to independent publishing houses. It was also during this time period that pulp magazines, publications focusing on more ‘gritty’ stories that involved anything from sex to homosexuality to gore as a focal point, had reached their peak in popularity – these magazines having been almost entirely indie publications from their very inception in the late 1800s as major publishing houses deemed the stories unfit for publication based on things such as length, subject, and especially genre as stories revolving around ‘unseemly’ topics (queerness and violence especially) were deemed too ‘improper’ and ‘low-brow’ for publication, or the publishing house was afraid that it would not see a return on investment should the story (or stories) be published. These attitudes are a primary reason for the taboo following the horror genre as a whole to this day.
Another reason indie and self-publishing has continued to grow in popularity is money. Currently, the cost to an aspiring author looking to publish their first book using traditional methods (that being signing a contract with a publishing house, such as Penguin Random House or HarperCollins) is nothing. Publishing houses cover the cost of editing, cover design, marketing, and any other expense associated with the release of a novel – this is in stark contrast to self-publishing, where an aspiring author could pay anywhere from 500 to 2000 GBP. Major publishing houses also offer ‘advances’ to their authors, these being a non-refundable payment that an author receives upon signing a contract. Despite this initial difference, publishing with a major house would mean that an author would, on average, see a very small percentage of royalties from the sales of their book(s) – that being anywhere between 15 and 20%, on top of the fact that the author is only paid royalties after the publishing house has made back all the money that went into services (editing, cover design, etc.) surrounding the publication of that book, something which can weigh heavily on authors who cannot live without their royalties. Indie publishing, on the other hand, typically grants an author 30-70% of their royalties, making it more financially viable in the long term for most of today’s aspiring authors.
Independent publishing has a long and storied history that continues to this day. The act of taking art into one’s own hands has inherent ties to political movements (anarchism, socialism, and Marxism) as a result of people like William Morris who spearheaded the Arts and Crafts Movement, emphasizing that, at the end of the day, art is for the people and by the people, rejecting standardization and genre-based scorn. Without indie publishing, many stories that don’t ‘fit’ into society’s idea of propriety would have never been published (notable examples of such stories include Legends & Lattes and Angels Before Man), especially as indie authors typically see a significantly larger amount of money in royalty percentage compared to traditionally published authors.
Bibliography
Beyer, Greg. “What is Pulp Fiction? (More than Just a Movie)” TheCollector.com, March 12, 2023, https://www.thecollector.com/what-is-pulp-fiction/. Accessed 6 June 2025
Hagye, Sara. Industrialization: Architecture’s Resistance and Adaptation, www.eiu.edu/historia/Hagye.pdf. Accessed 4 June 2025.
Herklots, H.G.G. “The Look and Feel of the First Bibles | Christian History Magazine.” Christianhistoryinstitute.Org, Christian History Institute, christianhistoryinstitute.org/magazine/article/look-and-feel-of-the-first-bibles. Accessed 6 June 2025.
Obniski, Monica. “The Arts and Crafts Movement in America.” The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1 June 2008, www.metmuseum.org/essays/the-arts-and-crafts-movement-in-america. Accessed 4 June 2025
Renauld, Marie-Madeleine. “The Effects Of The Industrial Revolution vs. Arts & Crafts Movement” TheCollector.com, July 24, 2020, https://www.thecollector.com/industrial-revolution-arts-and-crafts/. Accessed 5 June 2025
The William Morris Society, 1 Apr. 2025, williammorrissociety.org/. Accessed 4 June 2025
Anatomy Class
Fig. a; the Eyes as Observers
They have no time for fantasies
For gentleness, or doctoring
The ink is wet, the quill is sharp
No time to waste
[Alone. They are alone
and hiding. Quiet.]
Letter after letter is sent across seas
Of synapses raging,
Shrieking, like an out of tune harp
The Observers’ quill makes haste
[Their tethers groan. Rolling, rolling, in
their sockets – cornea swiping over flesh.
Pliant.]
There is no stopping, there cannot be
Details are consumed, translated, digested
More
More
There is always more
[Light hurts. They crave
gentleness. Colours explode in the dark.
More letters to send. This is
all they know.]
Fig. b; the Tongue as a Poet
It dances behind ivory walls,
Hedonism incarnate
Soft and squishy, but remembering its shape
Sliding back and forth, and back and forth
It is partial to sweet things;
That fizzling burst of honey,
The coating of chocolate,
To clinging cream
Bitterness shocks the organ
It curls, and drools, and spasms
And goes back for more
Maybe this time, the Poet will expect it
Maybe this time, it will not flinch
Perhaps
It pushes against its walls
Beats against them as it spins tales about empires
Ones that never existed
The Poet forms the shapes of words into the air:
‘Once upon a time,’ the Poet lilts
‘There was a maiden so fair.’
It brings fantasies to life
and the Observers seethe
SPICE CUTS IT
FRONT TO BACK
IT ASKS FOR MORE
DEEPER
CRUELER
IT PRESSES ITSELF AGAINST THE FLOOR
HARDER WITH EACH CUT
ITS BODY SWELLS, COATED IN MUCUS
Its relief is written about, reflexively expressed
Even should it know agony will return
It melts in its chamber,
preparing
waiting
waiting
to spin its tales
to dance again
Fig. c; the Heart as a Musician
One-two
It knows its cues
Three-four
It always has
Five-six
They are melted
Seven-eight
Into its flesh
One-two
Once in, twice out
Three-four
No time for rest
Five-six
No time for doubt
Seven-eight
It wants for naught
One-two
It simply waits
Three-four, five-six
For a message, for the next cue
Seven-eight, nine-ten
To change the song and sing anew
Eleven-twelve, one-two
The organs need no tuning up
Three-four, five-six
The Musician has made sure
Seven-eight, nine-ten, ele-
That the blood can sing throughout the pipes
-ven-twelve, thirteen-fourteen
It works predictably, endlessly
One-two, three-four, five-six
Only as strong as its beating drum
Seven-eight, nine-ten, eleven-twelve
And yet it cannot feel the irregularities
Thirteen-fourteen, one-two, three-four
The mistakes in the rhythm as it changes
Five-six, seven-eight, nine-ten
A skip, a stutter – the Musician is unfeeling to them
Eleven-twelve
Simply keeping
One-two
A steady thrum
Three-four
Of blood through veins
Five-six
Singing sweetly
Seven-eight
In tunes unheard
Fig. d; the Lungs as Partners
Spongy insides watered by red brine Nutrients filtered out from impurities
Filled with the world’s ironies Creating the perfect blush-wine
With smoke which chokes A meticulous alchemist
And poisons the darling enologist Who a smooth transition is trying to coax
Moments of stillness are welcome Moments of stillness squeeze their roots
It is a good thing, to slow the drum They are an omen, a witch, a beldam
Under which shuddering flesh is caught, Which clogs the throat with scum
To revel in the calm before the trumpet sounds And kills the air’s welcome psalm
As the trumpet calls When the winds return
Partners wither and burn. It is as though every leaf falls
They have no mouth between them And every branch shrinks
To scream above the Musician’s waltz As polyps constrict at the stem
Wine-dark seas flood roots again Partners come into bloom once more
Faux mesophyll layers swell around their core Alchemy resumes in the fen
Nerves are steeled Preparations are due
While irony fills them anew Against the winds to shield
Fig. e; the Liver as a Lover
Day by day, hour by hour
Minute by minute, second by second
Woes and sorrows, poisons and tinctures
The Lover examines them all
Feeling whiskey-smoke, clear rivers,
honey-thick assurances sweeter than any flower
Its ears burn and ache listening to, feeling all
the chaos unleashed upon it
by an unreachable muse
to whom a name the Lover cannot give
for nothing it thinks of could befit
the likeness of god behind a shawl
A vague understanding is all there is
Between Lover’s ears, beneath its skin:
Poison is worth it, pain is noble
That it is a good thing, to hang off the eagle’s bill
Should an unnamed god sing
For another burst of honey’s fizz
The Lover does not ask questions
As its body yearns and groans beneath immeasurable repetition
Beneath growing burdens which twist slothful hooks
into its scarred crooks
Questions do not honour the obligation
of preventing a god’s afflictions
Day by day, week by week,
Month by month, year by year
Poisons swallowed, tinctures tested, hedonism encouraged
The Lover a haggard hound, the Poet undiscouraged
Dog protects dear,
left with love to seek
Fig. f; the Nerves as Madmen
They are on fire (they’re burning {to cinders [to ashes]})
Nothing to be done (this is how the world is{?}) no relief
Sandpaper peeling flesh under guise of eiderdown
Ice picks worming beneath fingernails (a cold motif)
They twitch and squirm and grow
And grow
And grow
Filling every inch
Screaming
Weeping
Begging for less
Yet more
To varying success
Fire burns brighter (hotter {colder})
Some of them rejoice,
sinews grow muscles spasm
tremors shake their bodies
‘we feel’, they whisper, ‘we know, we know, we know, we think, we are’
Words ripple across an empty chasm
As shuddering hands grasp, fingertips bleed true
Locust swarms, toad plague atop the threshold! A scar!
red, red streak clawed across eyes of millions
billions
The blind lead the blind
Seeking input, seeking life
sharing one madness-touched mind
It was a roughly three weeks ago
Sometimes I talk to my mum about you by Adam Ayrton
Blood from Stone (opening chapters) – Sonny-Rhoey “Gwen” Liverod-Griffin
Trans people in Cis houses – The Publishing Industry
Alex The Detective Fox by Yufei Zhong
Should I publish a poetry pamphlet? What they are and how to put one together. | Garye Maraboto for LL719 The Process of Publishing.
As I finish my second semester of the Creative Writing MA at the University of Brighton, I find myself with around twenty poems that, this time last year, I didn’t know I was capable of producing. Previously, I thought of myself as a short story writer exclusively, but after completing a module in poetry with the brilliant John McCullough I am now apparently a poet as well! So, what do I do now with all the work that I’ve produced?
If you see me cry, mind your business. | Six poems by Garye Maraboto for LL719 The Process of Publishing.
Please excuse the PDF file, but there was literally no other way for me to keep the format of the poems intact!
In Death’s Shadow
Publication of Cosy Crime
