Uncertified by Phoebe Rose

I cannot sleep 

Please give me some peace 

I forgot what made me alive 

This fire that burnt inside 

Put out with all this objectivity 

That I should turn into positivity 

Bigger the breasts, greater the chances 

But too big and I become a whore 

Little, young naïve me only wanted more 

 

So I keep on drinking, shagging and snorting 

Only for a new chance at starting 

But still I’m weighed by previous mistakes 

‘It wasn’t your fault’ they’ll say 

So I’ll keep on smiling 

And hiding 

 

I’ll hide behind the words 

Because I’m certainly sure 

They’ve been heard before 

Though they’ll never be read 

Never knew the woman who said 

‘I have given up’ 

Never known such a touch 

 

I cry, I’m haunted 

Paralytic, I’m taunted 

A touch, a look, a full forced blow 

It’s all it takes for us to want to go 

But we do not get to choose this life 

Cannot cast it all aside 

One shot to making it better 

Otherwise, if everyone who has ever shamed, criticised, abused you gets to dictate your future, then who wins, the latter? 

 

Just bones in a box 

Tick tock goes the clocks 

It’s a competition for survival 

I’m not gaining from revival 

I’ve heard countless of similar stories 

No more time to rewrite these 

Different narratives 

All comparative 

Different endings 

No new beginnings 

Silenced out of fear 

With no one to hear 

Compliance makes it easier 

Because no one will believe ya 

 

Someday it may be clouded when I wake up with a stranger 

Such self-inflicted danger 

But don’t we all want to belong? 

On the floor, another thong 

Suffocated by him or the sheets? 

And still I cannot sleep