Matter

Every Sunday until September I’ll be pulling a (virtual) card from the Universe Has Your Back deck and reflecting on it.


I choose love no matter what.

My brain was just starting to wind down and then I found out I may not get my postgraduate loan. Not to worry, I thought, I’m standing for election and interviewing for a casual job in a couple of weeks. If successful I’ll be able to pay my fees with my extra wages.

I set up a weekly online meeting to talk with students, and hours later I receive a letter about adult learners returning to college. Namely I won’t be able to return this academic year – this is OK because I finished my course. But there is still no guidance on next year. I don’t know whether I can enrol and study remotely, or whether I won’t be able to enrol at all. If the latter I need to rethink my election position. I have been told the situation could change in the second or third term of the academic year. So I’ll be standing for election with the knowledge that I may not be studying in the year I am in office (if elected). Of course I am not the only student in this position but it just feels a bit weird.

I’ve been contacted regarding a casual job I applied for back in 2018! It has become available again and I’ve been invited to apply. My only gripe is that it’s three days a week and my current job is three days a week. I could stretch to working six days a week but it’ll tire me out. I’ve also got some unclaimed holiday I could use to ease the transition into the role. I’ve applied and asked if there is any flexibility. The role would be for three months, and cover the cost of my postgraduate fees.

I’ve booked some leave at the end of next month. I’ve got to the burnout stage of the year. I feel so indecisive and weepy.

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