Timing

Sometimes (ha) the timings for things are just wrong. Lately I’ve seen four jobs in museums I’d like to work at – each has played to a strength of mine. If I had some savings behind me to move, I would apply. I was talking to a colleague yesterday about the roles and they suggested I apply anyway but I couldn’t even afford the train fare for the first week, or a professional wardrobe.

I said I’d just have to keep applying for jobs locally and take the first permanent job. I also mentioned hoping that another opportunity to move into a local housing co-operative would come up. I came home and checked my emails to see if I’d been invited to any interviews. I hadn’t but I noticed some things in my junk mail. I made the mistake of accidentally clicking open some junk mail last month so I am getting a dozen similar items a week. I expected just to empty the junk mail but I saw an email from the housing co-operative. They are looking for members from next month.

At the moment, I think I have the potential to be invited to one interview this month. I’m not expecting to get a job offer. Without a job offer, I don’t want to plan for the future.

So I figured to myself, if now is not the right time to move or get a job then I could make it the right time for something else…

I’m spending my free time trying to get healthier. As money is tight I’m trying to shop sensibly – I’m logging my meals and calories so I’m making sure I buy things that give me energy but don’t cost much. I’m trying to cut down on chocolate because that makes me hungrier.

I’m reading more graphic novels. I’m walking when I feel stressed. I listen to music before I go to bed. Or I listen to ASMR videos to help me relax. I’m logging my reactions to all these things. I’ve tried getting back into yoga because I noticed my balance is getting worse and my back is frequently hurting. I’m no longer on social media (unless you count this blog). I’m watching more frivolous TV that makes me feel good like My Big Fat Fabulous Life.

I can’t afford to shop for clothes or many non-essential items. Every other month I’ll buy myself a hair mask or a face pack. When I do it feels like a real treat and I make an evening of it.

When I go out I make a plan. I decide on a location and what I want to do there. I make lists of things I need. I stick to them. Every day feels structured. This helps me avoid thinking of the negatives.

Time passes slowly. But I’m looking forward to see how I feel at the end of each day.

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