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This was the section of the shoot where I wanted to depict Tchad having self doubt, to contrast how the way that he began to dress helped him with issues of low self esteem. For the styling of this I decided to work with taking the blazer away as a way of peeling away layers of armour. I had thought about having him dressing how had done before before but I really wanted to getting this message across without losing the polished aesthetic of the styling and of the shoot, I felt that this would impact on the focus of culture. On reflection I wish that I had experimented with achieving this whilst maintaining a polished aesthetic but with a wider variation of outfits. This is definitely one thing that I would do if I could have reshot.

image 1 & 2 – In these two images I played with shooting through the gates, as a metaphor of feeling trapped. Trapped within a cycle of self doubt. I then directed James to be looking into the distance considering himself and then to be looking down as if he was lost in thought.

Image 3 – I wanted to capture James sat on the steps, looking tired and once again lost in self doubt.

Image 4 & 5 – These are two versions of the same shot, I have included both as the framing and depth of field came out slightly different in one of them. Again using the gates to play with the idea of feeling trapped, I directed James again to be looking down. I also directed Tchad to shoot James from above to compared to from below or at eye height as I had done in the section where we were looking at confidence, as I wanted to emphasis the idea of feeling small in this section of the shoot. These are definitely techniques that I will be trying again as I believe they work.

Image 5 – This was inspired by the Peter Lindbergh shot of Uma Therman looking into the window. (“Peter Lindbergh and Uma Therman, Downtown LA for Vogue Italia 2011”) However we did not quite make this work, but it did turn out to be one of my favourite photos from the shoot as it is more experimental, more about suggestion, I only wish that you could see that he is actually holding a camera. This is because I gave James an old film camera and asked him to just start taking photos. I then asked Tchad to start taking photos of the reflection of him to work with the idea of memory again working with autobiographical memory and nostalgia, almost a faded snapshot of him, the camera was a vital part of the image as Tchad is himself a photographer and could always be seen wondering around college taking photos of everything, I thought this could have been a very beautiful photograph, I will try again to capture a similar shot with hopefully more success in the future.

Credits for the shoot

photography – Tchad Oak Findlay

Modelled by – James Berridge from Rhed Modelling management

Styled, directed and location management by Lydia Jane Clark