I am both the observer and the observed, in the position of the in-between, neither from here nor there, leaving me some-what passive in two cultures. Having a British and Japanese heritage, I occupy a liminal space of an identity that is simultaneously known and unknown. Growing up in Western culture, I have this urge to explore the Oriental part of me, the half that is unveiled by my British side. Moving between British and Japanese identities within artistic practice, I am coming to terms with my selfhood. The ambivalence of my existence means that I am belonging to both, playing the role of the insider and the outsider.

Cultural identity, being the structural backbone to my practice, lends a versatile quality to how I juxtapose painting, where elements of presence and absence become apparent. The use of layering and fragmentation work together, to hint at and conceal my thoughts around the Japanese culture.The versatility of my styles perhaps points to my cultural identity, where both my painting and I, refuse to conform to a single category. However, through practical shaping of “the other”, I have discovered that my fusion of visual languages is rather conflicting, in the way that I am always controlled and deliberate. My authentic expression depicting this organized chaos, mirroring elements of traditional Japanese discipline.

My critical eye has opened up to the ambivalent relationship between interest and shame, particularly prominent in Japanese “kawaii culture”. In the Western world, kawaii means ‘cute’, but the ancient word “kawa-hayu-shi” translates to ‘face flushing’. Kawaii calls for both the child and adult, innocent and sexualized. The fine line between cute and sex appeal is challenged in my painting, through my adoption of cultural icons like the Japanese schoolgirl and Hello Kitty. The characters that have come to represent my alter-ego, addressing my exotic vulnerability in the Western and male gazes.