I had completed the sketches of my story and began to render it, but I felt an urge to continue developing ideas, I continued to draw and below are some of the results

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Deep in isolation, I began to stray away from my initial comic, although I planned to return to it I had a few other ideas I wanted to explore, I had just rewatched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and was listening to some old Hunter S Thompson interviews, I really like how immersive the confusion is in Fear and Loathing, it’s almost infectious how the movie is continuing the regular narrative how someone who isn’t jacked up on a cocktail of drugs would experience it, but at the same time, we are viewing the world from the perspective of Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo, twisted and warped.

I felt that the surreal and unreal monologs from fear and loathing were honest, they were telling the story in a way that was true to the character, this speech encapsulates a lot of my thinking over the past few weeks.

“Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era—the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run… but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.…

History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of “history” it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time—and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened.”

There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda.… You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning.…

And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting—on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave.…

So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark—that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”

I started to draw honest representations of myself and my feelings at the moment but it kept feeling like I was looking for a gimmick, everything I drew felt like it was trying to express something but wasn’t being honest, it wasn’t showing my perspective, more a kind of cliche of what I wanted to say, and so I continued to draw myself.