I now always put myself first and will continue to do so. I also have a great appreciation for personal wellbeing and good health especially because this has not always been the case.
Lockdown is a first for everyone in their lifetimes and the stress it causes not only to myself but also to everyone else has shocked me somewhat. People who I consider to be strong minded are left worried and anxious and for many of us such as myself and my friends, we have been made unemployed by businesses that cannot afford to keep us on.
My Fmp project will be a personal journey from now on. I still want to create beautiful and meaningful work at the end of it, but I also want to keep my wellbeing at the forefront of my mind. I am fortunate that wellness was the driving theme for my project already. It’s just that instead of making my project an experience for other people, I want to centre it around myself. Is this selfish? Maybe. But then isn’t my final major project meant to be a little selfish.
I felt guilty at first for not creating a hub for other creatives in a pop-up environment and I also feel a little guilty for not continuing my project in this community focused way virtually, but I felt that I couldn’t be as creative in myself this way.
I am going to go with what I want to do and what brings me joy rather than keep to a detailed end goal. I do know that I want to create an exhibition space and that I want to create several pieces in reflection of my experience of lockdown as this is most true and relevant to me at this time. I think by working this way I will achieve something wonderful. I also know that my work will be multimedia and illustrated as these are elements I follow through with in all of my projects.
So fingers crossed it all starts to work out.