My name is Garye Maraboto (ga-ri-éh ma-ra-boh-toh) and I’m a student in the Creative Writing MA; in a series of three blog posts we’ll be exploring and demystifying procrastination, negative emotions and the mean inner critic that lives in each of our heads and insists there’s something inherently wrong with us. I will also be discussing what we can do as creatives to canalize our imagination into something that benefits our practice rather than letting it become a tool to catastrophize the worst-case scenario; in the final entry, I will present some writing exercises that you can do to get you right into the artistic groove.
It’s a Saturday, I wake up at ten, wash my face, head to the kitchen, get some fruit, yogurt and tea. In I once read an interview for the BBC where Dr. Mary Beth Spitznagel said that breakfast improves concentration[1], which means this is an unskippable part of my day. I go back to my desk and scroll social media while I eat.
It’s past eleven, I open my document to begin working but first, I check what readings I need to do for this week. I want to make sure I’m managing my time appropriately to maximize efficiency as this leads to high levels of productivity[2]. There’s a little voice in my head reminding me I don’t look very put together today. I’m working alone from my room, but you know what they say, “when we feel good about how we look, we perform better in our work[3].” A quick shower and getting pretty never hurt nobody, eh?
The clock says it is now one in the afternoon and my slicked-back hair says I’m a serious writer. I get an email; there’s a parcel waiting for me at the reception. I put on my jacket and my boots. I walk down, get my things, come back, open them and try them out. I’m starting to feel hungry, if I begin cooking now it’ll be ready in around an hour, so I’m off to the kitchen again; it’s important to listen to the body’s desire for fuel[4].
I watch an episode of Sex and the City while the vegetables simmer. Then another one as I eat, and one more as I do my nails. The polish is horribly chipped, typing with such an ugly sight would be too distracting. Nails filed, cuticles pushed back, polish re-applied and, did you know that watching a comedy TV show can increase your happiness by 22%[5]? #SelfCare.
Four p.m., five p.m., six thirty p.m. and I am just now beginning to type.
I’ve spent the entire day procrastinating because I am too scared to face the page. I’m too scared whatever I write will be rubbish and I’m too scared this will mean I’m a terrible writer who will never have a successful career and will go to the grave feeling frustrated and unfulfilled.
Perhaps this sounds rather catastrophic, but I’m sure every creative knows the feeling. We love what we do, and we’re so grateful we get to do it… but what if it’s not good enough? How do I start writing when I already know that pesky first draft will only lead to me realizing all its (and by consequence, my) flaws? New York Times bestselling author Anne Lamott says of shitty first drafts: “All good writers write them. That’s how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts[6].” It’s a lovely sentiment, but one that I find difficult to fully internalize.
Everything I did to avoid getting to work should theoretically have a positive impact on my life; on a different day these would all be incredible ways to show myself some love and recharge from the stresses of the grind. But with a deadline looming on the horizon these activities feel far from relaxing, at every single moment there was a tiny, panicked version of myself running around my brain in circles trying to get me to just sit down and write.
A fairly accurate representation of how procrastination makes me feel, courtesy of Mr. SpongeBob SquarePants[7].
According to McLean, the psychiatric teaching hospital of Harvard Medical School[8], procrastination is connected to negative emotions and risks to mental health; people who procrastinate tend to have high levels of anxiety as well as poor impulse control.
The British Psychological Society confirms that, though at an intellectual level we know procrastination results in more stress in the long term, we delay the getting even the most urgent of tasks done by seeking dopamine hits that make us feel better in the short term. Even when what we should really be addressing is our fear of failure, perfectionism or anxiety[9].
As you can tell, this entry eventually got finished (hurray!) but it didn’t always go smoothly. I spent many a day leaving the writing, editing and polishing for later. So, how did I do it? Sheer willpower? A pact with the devil? Perhaps by learning how to work alongside my procrastination instead of against it? In the next entry, we will look more in depth at these feelings of insufficiency, a nasty little thing called experiential avoidance, your inner critic, and how these three can lead to mental health complications. In a third (and final) entry, we will discuss what we can do as creatives to use our imagination in our favor rather than to catastrophize, as well as some writing exercises to get you right into the artistic groove.
References:
BakkerElkhuizen. ‘The 10 Most Important Benefits of Time Management’, BakkerElkhuizen, https://www.bakkerelkhuizen.com/en-gb/knowledge/the-10-most-important-benefits-of-time-management/.
British Psychological Society. ‘Chronic Procrastination Linked to Poor Health Caused by Stress’, British Psychological Society, 16 March 2023, https://www.bps.org.uk/news/chronic-procrastination-linked-poor-health-caused-stress.
Brown, J. ‘Is Breakfast Good for Your Health?’, BBC Future, 26 November 2018, https://www.bbc.co.uk/future/article/20181126-is-breakfast-good-for-your-health.
Gaskell, A. ‘Do Clothes Matter to Our Success at Work?’, Forbes, 16 February 2023, https://www.forbes.com/sites/adigaskell/2023/02/16/do-clothes-matter-to-our-success-at-work/.
Hayes-Skelton, S. A., and Eustis, E. H. ‘Experiential Avoidance’, in Clinical Handbook of Fear and Anxiety: Maintenance Processes and Treatment Mechanisms, ed. by J. S. Abramowitz and S. M. Blakey (Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Association, 2020), pp. 115–131, https://doi.org/10.1037/0000150-007.
Hillenburg, Stephen (creator). ‘Squilliam Returns’, SpongeBob SquarePants, season 3, episode 4, Nickelodeon, 2002.
Ingall, A. ‘Watching TV Can Be Good for You’, University of Sussex, 2023, https://www.sussex.ac.uk/broadcast/read/61990.
McLean Hospital. ‘Procrastination’, McLean Hospital, https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/procrastination.
Lamott, Anne. “Shitty First Drafts.” Language Awareness: Readings for College Writers. Ed. by Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. 9th ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2005: 93-96.
Wang, Y., Tian, J., and Yang, Q. ‘Experiential Avoidance Process Model: A Review of the Mechanism for the Generation and Maintenance of Avoidance Behavior’, Psychiatry and Clinical Psychopharmacology, 34.2 (2024), 179–190, https://doi.org/10.5152/pcp.2024.23777.
[1] Brown, J. ‘Is Breakfast Good for Your Health?’, BBC Future, 26 November 2018, https://www.bbc.co.uk/future/article/20181126-is-breakfast-good-for-your-health.
[2] BakkerElkhuizen. ‘The 10 Most Important Benefits of Time Management’, BakkerElkhuizen, https://www.bakkerelkhuizen.com/en-gb/knowledge/the-10-most-important-benefits-of-time-management/.
[3] Gaskell, A. ‘Do Clothes Matter to Our Success at Work?’, Forbes, 16 February 2023, https://www.forbes.com/sites/adigaskell/2023/02/16/do-clothes-matter-to-our-success-at-work/
[4] Johns Hopkins Medicine. ‘Hunger and Fullness Awareness’, Johns Hopkins Medicine, https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/hunger-and-fullness-awareness#:~:text=When%20we%20don’t%20listen,is%20associated%20with%20losing%20weight.
[5] Ingall, A. ‘Watching TV Can Be Good for You’, University of Sussex, 2023, https://www.sussex.ac.uk/broadcast/read/61990
[6] Lamott, Anne. “Shitty First Drafts.” Language Awareness: Readings for College Writers. Ed. by Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. 9th ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2005: 93-96.
[7] Hillenburg, Stephen (creator). ‘Squilliam Returns’, SpongeBob SquarePants, season 3, episode 4, Nickelodeon, 2002.
[8] McLean Hospital. ‘Procrastination’, McLean Hospital, https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/procrastination.
[9] British Psychological Society. ‘Chronic Procrastination Linked to Poor Health Caused by Stress’, British Psychological Society, https://www.bps.org.uk/news/chronic-procrastination-linked-poor-health-caused-stress
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