I had another seminar last week where my group discussed what we need to do to complete our module. I feel confident I have done half of the assessment already. The other half is putting a portfolio together. I haven’t been creative at all this year until this morning. I’ve set myself a weekly challenge to do two or more collages or zine pages. I’m happy with the second piece I did today.
How am I feeling?
Reflective. Protective. Ambitious. Uncertain.
In four months I will no longer be a student. Being a Brighton student has been a large part of my identity for the past few years. So large, that when I relocated to Kent last year, it helped ease the geographic seperation. Part of me will be relieved that I won’t have outstanding projects sneaking into my thoughts at unexpected intervals.
However, the rest of me will miss the challenge. I will also miss the opportunities that come alongside university life.
I have to admit that I’ve been having flashbacks of anticipatory grief. Which feels weird, especially as there are sadder to things to be upset about.
A piece I had written last month got published. It’s not great but I saw improvement in my writing. A couple who read it sent me a present from a wishlist I have… some massage stones and oil.
I also met up with a colleague from my new workplace. We spoke about potential creative writing projects. So it looks like I’ll be filling future gaps in my time with other things.
I’m still on that steep learning curve in my new job role. I’m expecting to be here for quite a while yet.
This week saw my first visit to Brighton this academic year. It’s odd that this blog started as a place where I intended to write about studying, but it just ended up being about my life. Nowadays writing about my course feels so difficult. The presentation was challenging and, despite my weeks of internal monologues, I blathered.
But it’s over. I’ve done my assessment. I may need to redo it as I know I missed the point. If I do, I do.
According to my calendar I have seven more sessions of my module left. Then I’ll have my PGCert. Who knows what I’ll do next? I just know that as terrifying and stressful my presentation felt, I was pleased to be back in Grand Parade thinking about art. I’m happy.
I started my new job this week too. My team are a lovely bunch of folk. My user account hasn’t been set up yet so this week has been all about shadowing and induction-related activities. The lack of structure has been unnerving.
Two days until my first day in my new job. Three days until my presentation. I’m looking for a distraction because the panic has set in. So I figured I’d carry on writing about massage as it has been part of my mindfulness activities this year.